I Thought About Quitting Many Times

I hope this blog will inspire others to not quit their true passions. I was just at an opening in Los Angeles for a two-person show with my work. When I walked into the gallery and saw how amazing the show looked, I thought to myself: Did I really do that?

There have been so many times throughout my career that I have considered quitting. I was a stay-at-home mom before I decided to pursue my art career. I think all I ever envisioned myself doing as a kid ultimately was to get married and raise a family. An idea that is in so many girls’ heads: meeting prince charming and taking care of your family. It seems my life worked out quite well — I found my prince charming and had three amazing kids. Before I had my children I started to paint when I was a young lawyer. I sensed there was something missing in my life, a gap of sorts, that I wanted to fill. So I began to paint, but I never really considered pursuing it professionally. My job was to take care of my family.

“I think all I ever envisioned myself doing as a kid ultimately was to get married and raise a family.”

Then when I turned 42, after painting for 15 years or more as a hobby, I realized that I had this burning desire to really push myself and see where it would take me. There was this thing driving me and I don’t even know what it was. So many times, I would think why am I doing this? I have what I want out of my life. Why do I need to push myself so hard? What do I want out of this anyway? For whatever reason I continued, then one day I decided to make a website. My thought was that maybe I could sell a few paintings to pay for supplies. Then two weeks later I got a call from a gallery about representation. I was, to say the least, shocked and excited!

After that, I sent emails and submitted my work to other galleries. I started to hear back from several of them, and all of a sudden, I was represented by many galleries in many different locations. There were still times when I thought about quitting. It was easier being the mom and wife, not so much self-doubt or rejection. I can remember working on one commission for a very prestigious collection where I was so frustrated, that I walked in my home and proclaimed to my husband, I quit! I think what has always gotten me over these challenges and why I continue is very simple — I truly love painting!

The more I worked, the more comfortable I became in my art skin, so to speak. Now I leave self doubt and negative criticism of my work out the door of the studio — it is not allowed to come in and join me while I work. I also know now that I am driven to paint for a reason. I get so much joy from what I do, and so do others who purchase it. It may not be brain science but it does provide joy!

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